About Me
Zodiacs: Virgo/Ox
Age: 28 y/o
Bisexual, non-binary, any pronouns
1st Gen Mexican-American
I call myself an unwilling skeptic because I want so badly to belive in an after life. However, my brain always finds ways to convince me that it's not true. My life, like many others, is a journey to find purpose and reason in chaos.
Adonis is a mythological Greek figure. He is described as a beautiful, androgynous man that had many lovers among the gods (both male and female). Two of his most prominent lovers being Aphrodite and Persephone. In some versions, he splits his time on earth and in the underworld to be with either goddess. He is thus seen to be a symbol of rebirth. I chose this name because I love Greek mythology and his story resonated with me in particular as a bisexual, androgynous individual. I also feel like "rebirth" is a very common feeling for folks that diverge from their assigned gender.
Projects
Media
Books
Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller / Giovanni's Room by James BaldwinPosted on Feb 19, 2026
Three books and one show in a row about closeted gay men (See also: More Happy Than Not and Heated Rivalry). It left my heart feeling quite tender. Isn't it depressing to think that homophobia dates back all the way to ancient Greece up until the modern day? The only harm homosexuality causes is when we are forced to hide it. It leads people like Giovanni to desperation, abuse, and manipulation. Homophobia is also deeply rooted in misogyny. This is reflected in all 4 pieces of media. Those with internal and external homophobia also showed hatred towards women.
Unfortunately, I took too long to write my reflections on these novels that I've mostly forgotten the conclusions I came to. I remember finding it interesting that there were two different moments at the end of Giovanni's Room where the narrator stared at his reflection only to see someone else staring back at him. These reflections were his lovers. I belive this showed how the narrator adapted himself to fit what he believed his lovers wanted of him. But the moments where he saw their faces in the mirror were the moments when the lovers realized that the narrator had lied to them all this time.
Memory, Grief, and Self
Spoilers for Ersatz, More Happy Than Not, Oathbound
Posted on Jan 20, 2026
Esratz, More Happy Than Not, and Oathbound are three stories that explore their protagonists connection between their memories and self-identity. Do our memories shape our identities? Or are our identities an inherent trait we are born with?Esratz is a pilot episode created by Saint Greaver on YouTube. The short film follows an amnesiac soldier, Mophead, as he wakes up in a grimy bunker with three other soldiers. One of the other soldiers, Munroe, is patient and gentle with Mophead as he comes into his surroundings. Mophead is desperate to learn of his past and succumbs to desperate measures to get answers. After a threat of being poisoned to death, Munroe confirms that he knew Mophead from a previous reiteration. They were close like brothers but Munroe was hesitant to admit this to Mophead. Without his memories of their time together, Mophead is not the brother he knew. Both Mophead and Munroe speak of that version as a separate entity and the film ends as they sit in front of an altar made for Munroe's lost brother.
More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera is a novel that follows a young teen, Aaron, that undergoes a memory-removal procedure to erase all traces of his gay feelings and memories. The procedure works for a while and Aaron is able to exist as a heterosexual teen--so far as being sexually attracted to his girlfriend. However, he befriends a charming and attractive boy his age that makes him realize he is a "dude-liker". Aaron tried to suppress his homosexuality but erasing memories was not enough. It is who he is at his core and will continue to resurface no matter how many memories he erases.
Oathbound by Tracy Deonn is the third installment of the Legendborn series. Bree Matthews has made a bargain with the demon king. In exchange for power, he takes a piece of her soul. She remembers the events of her memories, but the identities of both living friend and foe are forgotten. Without these sentimental attachments, Bree is able to overcome the hurdle of controlling her power. When Bree's old friends find her in this altered state, they find that she is still the same girl they knew for the most part. Her personality and behavior still mirrors the girl who knew them.
More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera
Posted on Jan 20, 2026
This book maybe, kind of, sort of, absolutely devastated me. It doesn't wrap things up in a happy ending, but rather in a possibility of one...which I believe was the point. Aaron's life is full of trauma and struggles but there was always happiness too. The book may have ended tragically in one way, but there is hope that things can get better too.
Similarities between The Iron Widow Series by Xiran Jay Zhao and The Legendborn Series by Tracy Deonn:
Posted on Jan 19, 2026
- Women of color
- Called to action by death of family member
- Motive = saving girls just like them (that have been trafficked too)
- Born with extraordinary powers that grant them status
- Both protags are monarchs
- Not trusted/accepted by court
- Having their minds invaded by powerful men through a psychic link
- Court's obsession with their heirs/sexual activities
The Legendborn Series by Tracy Deonn
Visit the author's official website here.
I finally completed the available Legendborn series audiobooks. This has been quite an experience reading and I truly wish I grew up with these books. Although I am not black, I am Mexican and was raised Catholic. The reverence for ancestors really resonated with me. I could also sympathize with the feeling of being out of place and even in danger in a PWI.
Bree was such a compelling character. She felt like a real person with both flaws and admirable traits alike. She is smart and impulsive. Stubborn and adaptable. Headstrong and loyal. Her choices stressed me out and annoyed me but it only made me enjoy spending time with her even more. You never knew what her next move would be.
I think I would have enjoyed the series even more if I read it with my eyes rather than listened to it in an audiobook. Joniece Abbott-Pratt is a talented narrator but I did not like her choice to make Bree a weepy and whiny girl. It felt like 90% of the time, Bree was almost out of breath trying to hold back sobs. When she was angry, you could hear the tears behind her eyes. It got a little annoying, ngl.
Also, maybe I missed something but I don't believe there was a reason to make the characters teenagers. They all met on a college campus for goodness sake. For my sanity, I envisioned the characters in their early 20s. It made the melodrama a bit more bearable. I don't know, something about 17 year olds making declarations about love and death had me rolling my eyes a bit.
But overall, I highly recommend this series and I look forward to the next installment with much anticipation.
Movies
Latest Watch
Sunset Boulevard watched on Jan 21, 2026 at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel
Sunset Boulevard is a film following Joe who is a struggling screenwriter. Joe is short $300 on his car payments and three months behind rent. In his desperation for a job, he finds himself essentially being a sugar baby to Norma, an eccentric has-been actress. Their story parallels the biblical story of Salome: A princess asks for the head of John the Baptist because he refused her. Norma and her servant, Max, really make the movie. Watching this black and white "talkie" at a historic theater really added to the cinematic experience of it.
Genre Wars (title pending)
My boyfriend and I have started a little game to decide what movies to watch together. It started with him wanting to show me A Knight's Tale. It's a medieval sports movie which is funny on it's own. I decided to show him my favorite sports movie after, Air Bud. Now, we are selecting a genre from this wheel and each choosing one movie of that genre. I wanted to log the movies we watched and a quick snippet of what I thought of each one.
Sci-Fi
Boyfriend's Choice: Prey
The two will evolve together. My boyfriend and I thought the Predator would be a metaphor for European colonization but he ended up killing not only the French colonizers but also the mysoginistc indigenous men that tormented the lead character. I think in the end, the Predator symbolizes how violence begets violence. Killing simply for the sport of it will result in self-destruction.
My Choice: Akira
Slasher
Boyfriend's Choice: Heart Eyes
It was a fun watch! My boyfriend and I are fans of Dropout and Josh Ruben is one of my favorite comedians on there. This movie got some good laughs out of us. It definitely felt more Romance-Slasher than Slasher-Romance. Would def recommend for a date night movie if y'all are into horror.
My Choice: Bodies Bodies Bodies
This movie was hilarious! I actually predicted the ending by the third death haha. It was still so satisfying seeing it to the end. Speaking of the third death...My boyfriend and I have noticed a pattern that my favorite characters tend to die...and once I decided this character was my favorite, she was killed less than two minutes later...lol.
Sports
Boyfriend's Choice: A Knight's Tale
I thought it was okay. Things worked out a little too easily for the main character for my liking. The blacksmith woman was my favorite the moment she came on screen. Later on we find out she's a widow and it just made her hotter.
My Choice: Air Bud
I had Air Bud on VHS growing up. So naturally, my siblings and I watched it constantly. Still, I noticed new things watching it now with my adult brain and having now had dogs myself. I cried for the first time watching it.
Shows
Madoka Magica
Posted on Feb 9, 2026
I've just about sworn off animes set in high school or younger. The sexualization of children is so disturbing and this show is no exception. But this has been on my too-watch list for several years as I heard it was quite a mind-fuck. It did not disappoint. The uncomfortable depiction of children is present so be wary...The art style was unique and wonderful. I've seen few others like it. I'm not sure how I felt about them insinuating that all of women's accomplishments are in thanks to an alien species granting wishes though. Also, intentional or not, I found Cube to be a symbol of a predator. He approaches young girls and offers them wishes in exchange for a contract of becoming magical girls. In their naivety, they don't ask for details and instead focus all their mental energy on what their wish should be. He is unrelenting and also seeks desperate and vulnerable girls to enter contracts with him. The moral of the story is, don't enter shady contracts kids. Especially with strangers and without representation. Mm-hmm. Overall, still highly reccommend.
Heated Rivalry
Posted on Feb 9, 2026
I fear I don't have anything interesting to say about this show. I really like it! It took me some time to get into it as it starts off with just hookups and fighting. I really began to enjoy it as the romance built up. I'm really looking forward to the cutesy boyfriend stuff that will (hopefully) come up in the next season--idk, I haven't read the books.
IT: Welcome to Derry, IT: Chapter One, IT: Chapter Two
Posted on Jan 28, 2026
Not going to lie, this show was sometimes a hard watch due to how jaded I feel by current events. But then...there would never be a good time to watch it if I waited. The only difference between now and the good times is that I am simply more conscious of current events. There has always been racism and violence and assault and I don't think it will end in my life time. Still, the message was about unity and overall had as much of a happy ending as an IT series could. I rewatched the movies afterwards and found myself ranking the series high above the other two.